Muslim Marriage Counseling

This will be the first in a probably short series of posts on the Islamic "faith", culminating in a post honoring my buddy Emmet.

Growing up in NYC, I was exposed to a whole range of different experiences. You get to see all kinds of clothes, hair, and make-up; hear different languages while you are walking down the streets; witness deviant lifestyles of the Wealthy and Demented and oddities never before imagined; hearken to rants derived from The Twilight Zone and religious fanaticism. You also get to pick up a myriad of literature and information. Over the years, I have collected these "treasures" in a black three-ring binder, both before and after moving to California.

Riding the subway daily for school, and general transportation around the city, subjected me to a whole nether world of aberrant freakishness. Oh the stories I can tell, and will tell.... Suffice it to say that I never ran into any CHUD, but there are many exploits and tales of underground madness in the Big Apple.

While there will undoubtedly be future posts with more about Subterranean Strangeness and further revelations from the Binder of Bizarre, this one just happens to be a collision of the two.

In order to get a real feel for this one, imagine the following:

You're riding the IRT (the green line) between lunch-time and the evening rush hour. The train cars are fairly empty and along comes a guy wearing his Nation of Islam uniform
complete with kufi. He's passing out flyers and asking all to praise Allah. Draped over him is one of those old-timey sandwich boards with the wording of the flyer he's handing out printed in huge type on it, front and back.

This is copied verbatim from the original.

I absolve myself of all credit for this one.

ISLAMIC CULTURAL PROGRAM
FREE MARRIAGE COUNSELING

UNDERSTANDING YOUR WOMAN

Brothers don't ever put your penis, in your woman's mouth because this spoils your woman. When you put your penis, in your woman's mouth or in her rectum, you are misusing your woman, And what you are doing to her is: you are starting your woman out on A Sexual Habit. And you are not conscious of what you are doing to her.

This is what causes all of our young people's marriages to go sour. This is the reason that all of our young people start fussing and fighting like cats and dogs six months to A year after their mirriage.

Now, the reason that all of our people's marriage start messing up in about 3 to 6 months is because, It takes about 3 to 6 months before that mess, that you shoots in her mouth, begins to take affect on her brain.

Now, it mess you up to, but, it messes your woman up Quicker then it mess you up, because she's got the thing in her mouth, and she gets the full load every time, and you are licking A hole, so you are missing most of yours so that's why it messes her up Quicker then it mess you up.

And the affects that this mess have on your woman is: it clogs up the love current in her brain, and she don't have any feelings for you any more. And the more of this mess she eats the less feelings she have for you.

And it works the same way on you, as it works on her. You see, when you eat this mess, It makes you hard headed, and rebellius, and cold blooded, It kills the love in you, It makes you selfish, and small minded, and you can't reason with your woman any more, because all she can think of is, sex sex sex, just like A sissy. And, that's why all the arguements start.

If that young man knew, that when he starts putting his penis, in his woman's mouth that, that was the beginning of the end, of his love affair, he would cut off his right arm, before he would ask her to do that to him. but he is not conscious of what he is doing to her, if he loves her.

So then after he messes her up, they finally come to the conclusion, that Love, don't last. But, that's A LIE. LOVE DO LAST. Love will last you A LIFETIME, IF you don't misuse it. And when you put your penis, in your woman's mouth, or in her rectum. you are mis-use-ing your Love. And that's Why it turns sour on you. So don't mis-use your woman, And she will Love you the rest of your Life.

And if you and your woman have this problem. NOW. What you have to do is This: You and your woman will have to get your heads together, and KICK, THAT SEXUAL HABIT. And once you have Kicked, Your Sexual Habit, You can get your Love Life back together again.

Courtesy Of AL ISLAM

Thanks, Al.



Click to see scan of original handout

©2005 hpb©creations (except for Al Islam's rant)